everything1

I have been trying different things and making different blogs but I now have 1 place where I want everything to go. I hope you enjoy #miso808

Advertisements

Someday I’ll Be Dead

Yes, in response to the lady on facebook who called me selfish for leaving my loved ones behind.
Someday I’ll be dead and there is nothing I can do to stop dying.
Yes, I can slow down the process by not drinking, smoking, or doing drugs.
But someday, I will still be dead, period
Yes, death is inevitable.
Someday I’ll be dead and in my opinion, I want to have lived life before I die.
Yes, I can live a healthy and sober life.
Someday I’ll be dead and I believe that there must be balance.
Yes, I love my family.
Someday I’ll be dead and I want to enjoy every minute I get to be myself as myself.
Yes, I want to spend time with them.
Someday I’ll be dead and the memories my children have will be of me being me with them.
They will know me and who I am.
We will laugh and cry and remember as they grow up.
They will be great memories.
I will never die as long as they remember me.
But someday I’ll still be dead.

Seeing

Since I was a child, there were things I did not understand

And there were things I knew

Yet I could not make sense of the things I knew.

The world was not a place where I belonged

But it was the place I lived.

No one could explain

Nor could they explain

In words that I could understand.

It has taken almost a lifetime

To find my way.

Escaping reality was my only salvation

During times of hardship and heartache.

Lost in clouds and dreams

While the world pulled me down

Forcing the shackles of societal bonds

Into the prison of my own making

As I tried to fit in to that of which I was told to be.

Almost destroying what I was meant to be.

Searching for someone to save me.

No angels answered my calls.

No god called my name

With no heaven to lead me to.

Hell was not a place.

It was the world of which I lived

By my own hand.

As I listened to the voices of those who knew nothing.

My salvation came when I broke the bonds which I let hold me.

Songs sung in my own voice,

Words which I wrote,

A melody which I hummed

All on my own

Dancing to my own heartbeat.

Answers were within me all the while

My eyes were closed

Unable to see and find what was staring at me in the mirror.

It was me

Who held myself back

From finding

Me.

 

 

Chasing Buddha

As a child, I did not understand the world so I lived in my own world. I opened my heart to only find that I was misunderstood and called weak and foolish. I closed my heart, I closed my eyes and I let the world take me into darkness.

Lost in a world where I did not understand my place, I was misguided by the words of others as their expectations and dreams surrounded me. They spun me around and round until I was dizzy. Unable to see in the dark, I found myself lost in a sea of misery.

But I could swim. I could feel the sunlight of every day. I could dream through the cold dark night.

The tide of time eventually carried me back to my own world. I rode the waves to shore and walked upon the sand to find myself looking back and smiling. The water had taken my life and carried me to a new life.

For the first time, I understood my world. I knew who I was and why I was there. I have traveled in search of what was always inside of me. The path to my heart was in my mind and I chased Buddha to find the path to enlightenment. All the while, the path to enlightenment was inside me and my eyes opened to see the light in my heart still shone. It was the place where I never looked.

I searched the hearts of others, peering into their eyes to see their souls and praying they would see mine. As I walked ashore that day, led by the hand of a child. My children were playing in the surf and calling me to them. As we reached the warm sand of a new day, when I looked back and I saw my reflection in the water, I looked into my eyes and saw my soul and opened my heart to let the light shine to my path of enlightenment.